The Rules are simple:

1. Don’t use coke.

2. If you use coke once, you’re a cokehead.

3. Never trust a cokehead.

She was not the prettiest woman I’ve been with, a middling 6 at best.  The way she dressed made matters worse – all jeans and sweaters – so I was pleasantly surprised when she peeled them off.  Her breasts were larger, her body curvier, than I expected.

What she lacked in curb appeal, she made up for under the hood.  Her sexual appetite was voracious.  Rodeo clowns aren’t this motivated . . . Read more

I’ve spent a lot of time in bars.  Unfortunately, fragmentary memory loss has muddied most of those nights.  The nights that stand out the most are nights I was working.

Bouncing is a lousy way to earn a buck.  No one likes being the sober guy at the party.  It’s almost enough to make a person quit drinking . . .

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I want to weigh in on something that’s a personal pet-peeve of mine.  I usually hear this come up in conversations about drugs and prostitution.

“Dude, they should totally legalize that!  They can just tax the shit out of it!”

This is quite possibly one of the least intelligent thoughts to ever exit a head.  If you have this thought, I caution you to keep it to yourself.  In fact, un-think it.  The only way this idea should ever leave your head is in a fine pink mist behind an exiting bullet.

Let me explain . . .

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