Distinguished Organ,

On the eve of this Great Offensive I take the opportunity to offer you my gratitude.  Your sacrifice has been great these many months, and the character of your service is without peer.  You have put yourself to the hazard in this great War on Boredom.  Without your tireless devotion to The Cause we would be lost.

We have met the Enemy a thousand times.  We will meet him again.  We will fight him in the streets.  We will fight him in the bars.  We will not rest until he is vanquished.

There are those who believe that we can never defeat such a foe.  This malaise lurks in the darkest corners of the hearts of men.  His weapons are insidious, his action slow and terrible.  However, it is here that he betrays himself – for he cannot bear to face us honorably.

We will not defeat him by overcoming him, but by the act of fighting itself.  Our conviction will see us through.

Our Cause is noble.  Our battle is just.  Our courage shall not waver.  We will look the Enemy in the eye.  He will know our name is Death.

Faithfully Yours,

Max