Bedpan had just finished an overnight shift at the hospital when he found me. I was sprawled out on the couch.  My boots were still on, hat rested over my eyes.  An empty bottle of Evan Williams set on the floor next to me.  My .45 was disassembled neatly on the coffee table, eight Federal hollow points standing in a row beside it.

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The Rules are simple:

1. Don’t use coke.

2. If you use coke once, you’re a cokehead.

3. Never trust a cokehead.

She was not the prettiest woman I’ve been with, a middling 6 at best.  The way she dressed made matters worse – all jeans and sweaters – so I was pleasantly surprised when she peeled them off.  Her breasts were larger, her body curvier, than I expected.

What she lacked in curb appeal, she made up for under the hood.  Her sexual appetite was voracious.  Rodeo clowns aren’t this motivated . . . Read more

Grade: C

Price/Proof: $20/750 ml; 80 proof

Taste: vanilla, oak

Douchebag Factor: 5/10; wanna-be

Bottom Line: It’s not as strong as 101.  It’s not as bold as 101.  It’s not as good as 101.  80-proof Wild Turkey exists to put the Wild Turkey name in bars that won’t carry 100-proof bourbon.

It tastes watered down – not because of the alcohol content, but because all of the flavor has been muted.  This is not a sipping whiskey, and is best left for mixers.

- Max

Grade: B+

Price/Proof: $30/750 ml; 101 proof

Taste: rye, vanilla

Douchebag Factor: 2/10; makes douchbags wince

Bottom Line: You might think that a douchebag would buy Turkey on proof rating alone (like Bacardi 151).  However, bourbon doesn’t lend itself to mixing jungle juice like rum.  If you’re trying to get a co-ed drunk enough to fuck you, 101 Turkey ain’t the one for you.

. . . Which is exactly why I love it.

While I prefer it over a bit of ice, it isn’t unknown for me to drink it straight.  Straight out of the bottle.  It’s a little darker than the average bourbon, lighter on the sour mash and not as sweet.  However, 101 is full of subtle barrel flavors like vanilla and caramel.

Never a disappointment.

- Max