I’ve spent a lot of time in bars.  Unfortunately, fragmentary memory loss has muddied most of those nights.  The nights that stand out the most are nights I was working.

Bouncing is a lousy way to earn a buck.  No one likes being the sober guy at the party.  It’s almost enough to make a person quit drinking . . .

Being sober around drunks is like a free lesson in human nature.

I was asked to work an event for a friend recently.  It was mostly tedious, counting heads and keeping the building from going over capacity.

Two black guys came to the door with a blonde in tow.  They were sober, but she wasn’t.  Her nose was red, her eyes glassy and vacant.  She was coked out of her mind . . .

I was about to wave them through when I noticed that she was pregnant . . .