No Good Deed
- June 1st, 2010
- Posted in Max
- Write comment
People are upset with me. Upset that I am angry at them. Upset that they can’t calm my temper. Upset that I won’t do what they want.
All of this comes back to money. Money I wasted. Money I’ll never see again. I hate money. I don’t care about material things. As long as I have legs to carry me, all is right with the world.
Alf offered me a lift out to Boston. He was headed that way, what difference would it make? Oh, by the way, can I borrow your brand new mountain bike?
“Sure, Alf. It’s the only transportation I have. Just make sure I get it back. Don’t fuck it up.”
Half a week later my brand new “wheels” are sitting at a Sonoco in Massachusetts. I doubt I will ever see the fucking thing again. I told the dumb son of a bitch I wanted my bike back by the end of the week.
I have six weeks here.
I extend a small courtesy and some knucklehead finds a way to fuck me up. It happens every time.
Alf is upset. He offered to drive me around. He offered me his car. I do not want his car. I want my fucking bike. I don’t want favors. I don’t want to pay for his fucking gasoline. I don’t want sympathy. I want my fucking property.
I don’t know why I trust people. Ever time I do becomes another lesson in why I shouldn’t.
I am tired of trusting people. I am tired of helping people. I am tired of being reliable. If you want to cut through my temper, if you want my attention, if you want me to help you . . .
Suck my cock.
Otherwise, fix your own problems.
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How can you hate money and “material things,” but be angered by the fact that your property has been taken from you? I whole-heartedly support your pissed-off-edness, but I’m just wondering about what I see as a contradiction here.
I have a first order desire to get my fucking bike back. I have a second order desire not to be trapped by material things. I wouldn’t care about the damned bike if I hadn’t just bought the fucking thing, and didn’t need it for transportation right now.
It’s a matter of respect for other people’s things, especially a bike. That is just wrong. If that happened to me, I’d be irate and I’d expect a new one purchased. I would feel horrible if I did that to someone else… some people just don’t have any common courtesy.