I have a bad temper.  Anger has lead me to do awful things.  I am candid about my anger – and my compulsivity – but I am not flippant about them.  What was once “Boys will be boys” is now Felony behavior.  I have come away unscathed, but not uninformed.

Anger isn’t a raised pulse or a histrionic fit.  Anger is a gate-way drug to rage and hatred.  Anger is poisonous and intoxicating.  Anger is not an aphrodisiac.  When I read Roosh’s article about anger as a female turn-on, I understood exactly why he said it.

But I disagree with what he said.

Roosh observes that, under certain circumstances, women are aroused by displays of anger.  There is a correlation, but that certainly doesn’t mean causation.  What Roosh is tapping into is the Make-Up/Break-Up sex phenomenon.  This isn’t about anger, it’s about fear of loss.

Once Upon A Time I knew a nice girl.  I was fucking the cokehead at the time.  Aimee was very smart and sweet.  I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, so I rejected her advances.  We remained friends, but when she found out about the cokehead, and a handful of other girls I was sleeping with, she grew bitter.  One night, she raised her voice at me and I lost my temper.

I called her out on her jealous, possessive behavior.  We weren’t even dating!  What did she care who I was fucking?  I cut her off.

I knew exactly what I was doing when I did it.  I had never raised my voice at a girl before, but I knew how she would react.  I wasn’t trying to manipulate her, I was legitimately upset, but she immediately crumbled.  She left me a voicemail, pleading with me not to cut her out of my life.

Not long after that Aimee and I had a week-long sex romp.  She doted on me liked a prized stallion.

Roosh compares various sources of anger.  He says that he can cope with traffic and illness and unexpected nonsense.  What he cannot cope with are women who play games.  While this is somewhat ironic coming from a Pick-Up Artist, it isn’t hard to appreciate the sentiment.

Traffic and illness are not malicious.  A person who plays with your affection is.  They are being cavalier with something they don’t own: your feelings.  Being angry about this is understandable.  However, using that anger as a tool of manipulation is not fair play.

“While I definitely don’t recommend you use anger as a ‘move,’ I advise you not to hold back. If you’re being disrespected or slighted then you need to let her know as soon as it happens. Your dick will thank you later.”

On one hand, Roosh attempts to deny angry outbursts as “Game method”.  Then he immediately reverses himself, endorsing well-timed anger as a valid way to keep unruly women around.

Being in love is a Hell of a thing.  It teaches you about yourself – about how much you value yourself.  People look down upon those who let their spouses beat them and cheat on them because we know that those people have low self-worth.  If they hate themselves, why should we love them?

At the same time, if a person does not value you and treats you poorly, why should you value them?

A man on his game does not need anger.  That kind of Stanley Kowalski bullshit works, but not without a cost.  You can tell a lot about a man by what makes him lose his temper.  If you lose your composure over a girl simply because she does not call you back, or flakes on a date, then it shows just how emotionally invested in her you were.  If not because you genuinely value her, then because you are a shameless cooze-hound whose sense of self-worth is wrapped up in his ability to knock over pussy.

Simple displeasure will suffice.

If you suspect a girl is going to flake out on you, go on about your business.  If she doesn’t call, then the next time you speak to her voice your displeasure.  Your time is valuable, it was rude of her to blow you off.  Then cut her off.  If she values you, then she will recognize her mistake, apologize, and attempt to reconcile.

If she doesn’t, then save yourself a case of the Clap and don’t call her again.