I was in Wal*Mart the other night buying beer and I found an employee’s name tag.  It was clipped onto the side of a rack (no pun), probably by an overnight stock guy.  On the back is a list of condition codes.  I thought I would share.

• CODE ADAM = LOST CHILD
• CODE WHITE = ACCIDENT
• CODE BLACK = WEATHER CONDITION
• CODE RED = FIRE
• CODE BLUE = BOMB
• CODE GREEN = HOSTAGE
• CODE YELLOW = SPILL
• CODE ORANGE = CHEMICAL SPILL
• CODE BROWN = SHOOTING

Most of these came as no surprise to me.  I’ve read about the Code Adam before.  Apparently Wal*Mart employees are instructed to drop what they are doing when “Adam” is called, and no one stops until the child is found.

However . . .

It is that last code that I find intriguing.  Code Brown?  I’d be lying if I didn’t say that my first thought was the thought of Wal*Mart employees actually shitting themselves during a Code Brown.

“Code Brown!  Code Brown!  Holy Shit!”

But then I got to thinking about it . . . if anyone fired a weapon in a Wal*Mart, and you needed a code to tell you it happened, you’re already fucked.